Nell: I see David has a new toy.

Me: Yes, Kev bought it for him at the vet’s. He absolutely loves it.

Nell: Why was David at the vet’s? Is there something wrong with him?

Me: No. He had to have his nails cut. He behaved really well and got lots of cuddles. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: I expect it was difficult to go back there.

Me: Yes, it was the first time since we lost you. I stayed at home.

Nell: Probably for the best.

Me: Kev saw Chloe. She was very sad and they talked about you.

Nell: Chloe has been giving me regular massage and hydro for years. She is bound to feel a little low.

Me: Yes. You are greatly missed.

Nell: Not by everyone. I presume Rupert is still out and about with his new lady friend.

Me: Luna is his supplier. They talk wool.

Nell: As if.

Me: She has a sunny disposition and she makes him laugh.

Nell: Charlie makes me laugh.

Me: There you are.

Nell: You’re right. I need you all to be happy if I’m going to be happy.

Me: Exactly. I had some happy news yesterday.

Nell: Tell me.

Me: Alice and the grandchildren are coming to visit for two whole weeks in the summer.

Nell: That’s wonderful.

Me: It is.

Nell: Has Kev put the number of days until they arrive on the whiteboard?

Me: He has.

Nell: He always does that when family are coming to visit and he changes it every day.

Me: You know him so well.

Nell: I do.

Me: We still feel you’re here with us, Nell. When we go into a room we expect to see you there.

Nell: I am there. You and me. Always. Remember?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Look at all the bluebells we saw on our walk yesterday. Aren’t they beautiful?

Nell: They are. Where has the sunshine gone?

Me: It’s back this morning but yesterday afternoon was rather grey and windy.

Nell: I can see that.

Me: Charlotte and I went back to the house with Nigel and the others walked on.

Nell: We used to do that.

Me: We did. You didn’t like them going at first and neither did Nigel.

Nell: It’s hard to accept you can’t do as much as you used to do.

Me: Tell me about it.

Nell: I just did.

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Are you ready for Sunday Songs?

Me: Yes. Luna is joining us today.

Nell: Why?

Me: Because Rupert invited her.

Nell: She’s not coming to Sunday lunch, is she?

Me: No. Alpacas don’t really like a roast. They’re herbivores.

Nell: That Notorious Vegetarian James Beddall would probably suggest you offer her a nut roast.

Me: She only eats grass and hay. She’s going to join the llamas for lunch.

Nell: Good.

Me: Knitwear Wolf is taking her on a walk later.

Nell: Rupert is going walking with Luna?

Me: He says he might show her the bluebells. What are you doing today?

Nell: Poppy is roasting a chicken and Mutley and I thought we might have a little sleep in front of the fire.

Me: You can have a fire?

Nell: We can have whatever we want.

Me: And Charlie?

Nell: Charlie is out and about but he’ll be back for lunch.

Me: Out and about?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Doing Guardian stuff?

Nell: Apparently there’s some trouble brewing. and don’t say ‘stuff’.

Me: What’s he doing?

Nell: Let’s just say spies never retire.

Me: Charlie is a Guardian spy.

Nell: Enough. Stop snooping.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: I see Nigel is visiting.

Me: Yes, he spent the night on the bunk bed.

Nell: On the silken cover?

Me: Of course. And this morning he’s on my bed in the sunshine monitoring the Bus Stop.

Nell: Is Nigel sharing the bed with Harriet?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Where is David? He usually sleeps on your bed.

Me: He’s downstairs somewhere.

Nell: Downstairs somewhere?

Me: Yes. He’s probably eating a bacon sandwich.

Nell: David’s place is by your side.

Me: Not all the time, Nell.

Nell: I thought he was your Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Me: He is.

Nell: Does he know he’s been replaced?

Me: That’s ridiculous. Nobody could replace Dave.

Nell: It happens faster than you think. I thought I would never be replaced in Rupert’s heart but now he’s cavorting around Devon with corgis and alpacas.

Me: Luna is lovely, by the way. She really enjoyed her cream tea and was a huge success with the llamas.

Nell: Fickle creatures.

Me: I’m sure they’re just friends but Rupert is going to have to move on at some point, Nell, and you’re back with Charlie now.

Nell: But not yet. It’s only been a few weeks.

Me: Seven on Monday.

Nell: You’ve been counting the days?

Me: Yes. So has Kev. You’re always in our thoughts.

Nell: Shame Rupert doesn’t feel the same way.

Me: Dave just came upstairs and is on the bed with Harriet and Nigel.

Nell: Good. Did he bring bacon sandwiches?

Me: He meant to. They were eaten by mistake.

Nell: Some things never change.

Me: And some things do. It’s the way of the world.

Nell: You’re rather philosophical for a Saturday.

Me: I am, aren’t I?

Nell: Well, stop. I do the wisdom and you do the imagination.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Who on earth is that?

Me: It’s Luna. You were asking about her.

Nell: I’ve never heard of a Luna.

Me: She was at the Bus Stop with Knitwear Wolf. Isn’t she adorable?

Nell: Not really.

Me: Look at her smiley face and soft curly hair.

Nell: Calm down, please. She’s just an alpaca not a pedigree Labrador.

Me: She’s visiting Devon from Shropshire for the Easter holidays and she bumped into Knitwear Wolf who immediately admired her coat.

Nell: Rupert admires Luna?

Me: Very much, apparently.

Nell: How do you know all this?

Me: I asked Harriet.

Nell: Harriet?

Me: Yes, she was looking into a few things for Sally so I asked her about Luna.

Nell: How did you know her name?

Me: I didn’t until Harriet told me. I said you were concerned about the blue-eyed alpaca at the Bus Stop with Rupert.

Nell: Why did you have to say a thing like that?

Me: You were. You even mentioned Ramson Hunter and Sven Gully.

Nell: I suppose I did.

Me: I thought this would put your mind at ease.

Nell: I’m not sure Rupert should be going around admiring other animals’ coats. He’s in mourning.

Me: He’s also an entrepreneur with a successful knitwear business. He’s probably just looking for a new supplier.

Nell: You’re right.

Me: And taking Luna to dinner at the pub was probably for business purposes only.

Nell: Rupert took Luna out to dinner?

Me: Yes.

Nell: At our pub?

Me: Why not?

Nell: Does that mean Luna is staying in the village?

Me: Yes. She’s staying in one of the farmer’s barns.

Nell: When is she leaving?

Me: I don’t know but I’ll ask her when she comes to tea.

Nell: She’s coming to tea?

Me: Yes, with Rupert. Sorry.

Nell: You went on my favourite walk again.

Me: Yes, the weather was warm so we knew the beach would be busy and went to the river.

Nell: I see Kev decided to sit on my bench.

Me: He wanted to stop and remember you.

Nell: Did you join him?

Me: I’m not ready yet, Nell. You and I always sat there together while the others walked on. I couldn’t sit there yet without you.

Nell: I understand.

Me: The Puppies had a wonderful time splashing around in the river.

Nell: I used to enjoy a paddle.

Me: You did.

Nell: It was cooling on the paws.

Me: Nature is amazing and such a comfort.

Nell: Any news on the blue-eyed alpaca you saw at the Bus Stop talking to Rupert yesterday?

Me: No, but I’m wondering if it might be one of his suppliers.

Nell: Suppliers?

Me: Alpaca wool is highly prized. It’s luxurious and soft and even hypoallergenic.

Nell: You know a lot about it.

Me: Maybe Knitwear Wolf wants its wool for his blankets and cardigans?

Nell: Did it look like a business meeting?

Me: Not really. There was a lot of laughing.

Nell: Laughing?

Me: Yes. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

Nell: Rupert’s supposed to be in mourning not gadding about town with corgis and alpacas.

Me: He’s not gadding about and you said life must go on.

Nell: Were they eating Spaghetti Bolognese?

Me: Of course not.

Nell: They might have been.

Me: Alpacas are herbivores. The most they would eat is a Spaghetti Napoli definitely not a bolognese.

Nell: But why were the Puppies so concerned?

Me: I don’t know. They didn’t say.

Nell: Ask them again. Maybe they know something we don’t. It hasn’t got blue eyes for nothing.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: There’s something worrying going on at the Bus Stop.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Dave’s puffed out his cheeks.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: When Dave’s concerned he puffs his cheeks out before he barks.

Nell: It’ll be a llama cartwheeling, or something equally mundane.

Me: Harriet’s worried, too.

Nell: Well, go and have a look out of the window.

Me: I can see Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: In a cardigan?

Me: Yes. Forest green.

Nell: Anyone else?

Me: Stanley Smoochy and some Tupperware containers.

Nell: That’ll be the Spaghetti Bolognese for his pasta deliveries.

Me: Yes.

Nell: I don’t know why that would make Dave and Harriet concerned.

Me: Oh, there’s someone else with them.

Nell: Is it that dreadful Italian rook?

Me: No, it’s not Sponge Finger. It’s someone large and rather fluffy with blue eyes.

Nell: Did you say blue eyes?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Most unusual.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Light fluffy, or dark fluffy?

Me: Light fluffy. Sort of off-white, cream-coloured. Its hair needs a good brush, to be honest.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: What’s wrong?

Nell: This is worrying.

Me: Why is it worrying? We can’t all have neat hair.

Nell: Is Stanley the only seagull?

Me: There are several Beefies flying around.

Nell: But none with hypnotic eyes?

Me: Not as far as I can see.

Nell: That’s a relief. I thought it might be Ramson Hunter with his nasty sidekick Sven Gully.

Me: The evil ram with the piercing blue eyes?

Nell: Yes.

Me: And the dastardly hypnotising Beefy?

Nell: Yes.

Me: It’s not them.

Nell: How do you know?

Me: It’s an alpaca.

Nell: Why didn’t you say that before?

Me: You didn’t ask me.

Nell: Yes, I did. But alpacas don’t usually have blue eyes.

Me: This one does. Sorry.

Nell: Good morning. You’re awake rather early today.

Me: I went to bed early after our exciting walk.

Nell: Was it exciting in real life, or in your head?

Me: It was real. I promise.

Nell: Good.

Me: You know I was struggling a little yesterday on the third anniversary of my sister’s death?

Nell: I do.

Me: Well, the weather was so lovely we decided to go on a long walk in the countryside.

Nell: Always a good idea.

Me: Yes. Everything is coming to life at the moment and the colours are wonderful.

Nell: The walk certainly seems to have lifted your spirits.

Me: It really has. It was just what I needed.

Nell: What was exciting?

Me: We met a fluffy dog who knows Dave and Harriet and was ever so pleased to see them again.

Nell: Nice, but not exactly exciting.

Me: And several tall horses out for a gentle stroll.

Nell: I’m not keen on horses.

Me: You were born on a stud farm.

Nell: Nevertheless.

Me: Anyway, they were very polite and well-behaved.

Nell: But not exciting.

Me: No, the exciting part was when Dave spotted a small deer.

Nell: A deer?

Me: Yes, a tiny sweet little deer with a white tail.

Nell: I was imagining a Heffalump at the very least.

Me: I said it was real.

Nell: Heffalumps are real.

Me: They’re not real, Nell.

Nell: If they’re not real then why did one just walk past me?

Me: Are you saying you’ve just seen an actual Heffalump?

Nell: Yes.

Me: That is exciting.

Nell: Definitely more exciting than a small deer.

Me: Yes, and a tiny bit scary.

Nell: They won’t bother me. Poppy is here with her sword. Heffalumps are not fond of fierce terriers.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Nell: I know today is a difficult day.

Me: It’s bittersweet. Three years since my little sister Alex died but also 22 years since my niece Scarlett was born.

Nell: Both happy and sad.

Me: Yes. You don’t really know what to do with yourself.

Nell: I would recommend a long walk in the countryside.

Me: That’s exactly what we did yesterday. It was lovely.

Nell: I can see from the photos.

Me: The countryside is really coming alive. The fields are so green and Dave found some bluebells.

Nell: I presume Harriet went paddling in the river?

Me: She did.

Nell: You’re still walking behind them, aren’t you?

Me: It’s where I always walked with you.

Nell: I’m still beside you.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And so is Alex.

Me: Does she seem happy?

Nell: Yes. She’s with your mother and grandmother.

Me: I like to think of them all together again.

Nell: They don’t want you to be sad but they understand if you are.

Me: Kev and I were saying how lucky we are to live where we do.

Nell: Devon is beautiful.

Me: He was remembering the long walks you both used to have in Oxfordshire.

Nell: Our special time.

Me: My sister was too young to die.

Nell: I know.

Me: I hope she knows how much we miss her.

Nell: She does. Trust me. So, what are you doing today apart from a walk?

Me: Celebrating and Remembering.

Nell: I’m going to do the same.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: How was Easter Sunday?

Me: Delightful. Too much chocolate but lots of laughter and love.

Nell: Which is just as it should be.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Take care of yourself today, please. And remember it’s fine to be happy as well as sad.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Happy Easter. Do you like the hats?

Nell: Where’s yours?

Me: I’m going to put it on later, Nell.

Nell: Make sure you do. Today is a day of celebration.

Me: It’s not the same without you.

Nell: Things can’t stay the same for ever.

Me: I know but I still miss seeing you in your hat.

Nell: If it helps, I’m wearing one right now.

Me: Does it have feathers?

Nell: Certainly not. It’s a large-brimmed hat much favoured by the late Queen.

Me: Is she up there, Nell?

Nell: Of course she is. Where else would she be?

Me: Have you seen her?

Nell: No, she’s far too busy watching over a whole nation.

Me: Yes, that makes sense.

Nell: Poppy wants to know what kind of roast you’re having today.

Me: Roast chicken with all the trimmings.

Nell: Stuffing and sausages?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Bread sauce?

Me: Dave ate the first batch by mistake but Herr Hoffmann’s making another.

Nell: Cauliflower cheese?

Me: Absolutely and lots of roasted vegetables.

Nell: We’re having the same.

Me: Good.

Nell: What about chocolate Easter eggs?

Me: Safely hidden in the refrigerator.

Nell: And only for you, Kev and Charlotte.

Me: Yes, I know chocolate is dangerous for dogs.

Nell: Not up here.

Me: Really?

Nell: Yes. I had my first ever Easter egg with my cup of Earl Grey this morning.

Me: Did you enjoy it?

Nell: Very much. Now I understand what all the fuss is about.

Me: We’re going to mention you at Sunday Songs today, Nell.

Nell: How kind. Please pass on my best Easter wishes to everyone.

Me: I will.

Nell: Now go and have a piece of chocolate egg before the parade begins and don’t forget your hat.

Me: I’ll fetch it now. Sorry.

Me: There’s nothing like an Easter Saturday swim.

Nell: If you say so.

Me: What do you think of my action shots of Harriet chasing her ball?

Nell: It looks dangerous to me.

Me: It wasn’t.

Nell: The water’s flowing too fast.

Me: She knows exactly how to time catching the ball.

Nell: I can see David was worried because he waded into the water.

Me: Dave always worries about her. She knows what she’s doing.

Nell: Was the small dog with the brown ears there again?

Me: No. It had delivered its message so there was no need.

Nell: Has Harriet done anything with the message?

Me: I don’t know. She FaceTimed with Sally, so maybe?

Nell: Is Sally coming down for Easter?

Me: I don’t think so but then again nobody really tells me anything.

Nell: You can’t be trusted.

Me: Yes, I can.

Nell: You tell everyone.

Me: Only you and the others.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: They’re our friends. They won’t tell anyone.

Nell: Moving on, have you chosen an Easter bonnet?

Me: Yes. The Cat wanted me to have feathers but I refused.

Nell: Wise decision. Leave the feathers to David and the birds.

Me: I thought I might cover it in fruit.

Nell: Don’t go all Carmen Miranda again, please. You’re in Devon, not Brazil.

Me: What about some spring flowers?

Nell: Perfect. And remember, less is more.

Me: Spring used to be my favourite time of year. Lots of family birthdays and everything coming into bloom.

Nell: Why isn’t it anymore?

Me: Now I associate it with losing you and my little sister Alex.

Nell: Try and see it a different way. We can’t be with you physically but life goes on and Spring is showing you that it does.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.